Saturday, 7 August 2010

the heart makes only single journeys

you taught me to listen to the echo of the song that the soul sings; i have lost that voice.
you who showed me the very rainfalls of desire; i have abandoned them all to the storm,
you who opened the securest of my doors, i shall now deny you, i turn you away.

i catch a reflection over the boats edge, in the water, and i fail to recognize myself,
from now on don't you look too deep into these eyes ; for you shall see someone else.


i was spare parts and chump change, i became a boarded up window
on the back side of a disused factory of dreams
then you came, opened the door, with a crowbar of want
and I shone.


still, you are present, in my heart.

you are like the horizon man, visible but beyond grasping
that smile, it rises like a morning wave
and bathes me man, it bathes me in its embrace.

present, you are, still, in my mind

like a childhood tale, innocent and melting
so i speak your name with joy, i taste you like almond milk,
you are the sun and the clouds and I shiver in the shadows.

still, you are present, you remain
beyond my grasp, yes, but still, you remain.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Saturday, 17 January 2009


If only my heart had only ever had but one door,
Then I would have only, ever, bid you to enter,
Then, surely, I would have thrown the key into the middle of the ocean,
So that you could have never left, ever.

"Ah my beloved, how foolish you still are
For I came not cos you called or for you so desired
I came as my own keeper for it was right to do so
and surely I have indeed left; but not through your desperate door"

then foolish I am indeed to have given credence to us

"No my beloved, foolish is he who believes that he can hold what he has not learnt to see. Impetuous and jealous are you "

Sunday, 3 August 2008


“What r u thinking?”
the words rained upon his brow, snapping him back from the beach in his mind. The question came from her lips but started in her diamond eyes, pulsed from her hungry heart and shed itself on her tounge. He couldn’t lie to her again but he didn’t even understand where the truth was anymore, the life that was built on shining silver lies and near impossible dreams was blinding now to cappuccino eyes.

“Tell me what ure thinking.”
her hands under her chin, as if her beautiful head was a monument of gold that her flesh alone could not support. He remembered that he loved her, he knew that, he hoped that she knew. He remembered how he met her, how they had been sent crashing into each other’s lives. He remembered the promise he had made himself years earlier and had later re-phrased and pledged to her “I`ll always be honest with u, be honest with me, even if ure being honest means u r telling me that ure leaving.”

“My heart is lived in” he murmured, so softly that for a second she wondered if he was speaking English “People have come and gone, some didn’t close the door.” It was English but it was also the language that a waterfall speaks, the rhythm of crystal bridges, the accent of the birds.

“I just want a cigarette and a love song” the words spilled forth like a glass of red wine dropped on white marble floor, spreading out with fingers of passion but not sinking in. never knew the root of his sadness, how could he explain. He had walked alone but never really believed it, she had shown him things that he had never seen and he had allowed her to feel emotions she didn’t believe existed anymore or that she had closed away in the wax prison of her heart.

He could spell her name from the footprints in his soul, he could write her name with the ashes of dead poets and he would, he knew he would.

For his eyes she was the last stop on his present journey, his final hand in this game, the last performance on this tour. He tried to speak with his eyes but they were too dark to show anything tonight, they merely reflected hers. He tried to sing to her through a kiss but her lips were not ready to understand him tonight. He tried to shout at her through whispers but she just drew harder on her cigarette.

Then she lit his cigarette, the flame echoing in her eyes. She whispered “My heart is lived in as soul has footprints that make me head spins and i`d die if I sat to think about it all.”

Her eyes were like a capodimonte masterpiece found on a dirty platform at the train station, shining with artisan brilliance through the dusty darkness that surrounds. We must look forward at the sunrise and not cry tears for the sunset of last dusk. To die because of you’re past, because of past pains, distant memories that are like fresh wounds but are only ever blood stains. That isn’t the way surely.

Her voice was like a sicilian sunrise to him...he looked at her as a returning son would view their mothers house after so long away.

“Come...Move close...”

He just needed to hold her, to hide themselves away, he always needed to hide to protect. “Here, the doors closed and I’ve locked it. I’ve locked it.”

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

positive beats

and if i'm anyone at all
i'm the kid from down the hall
who in a barely legible scrawl
wrote his name upon ur wall